Toronto-based singer-songwriter Tara Van dances to her own beat. In the midst of the pandemic, she lost her long-term partner, but found self-love, allowing the seeds of her first album Rise (May 2023) to grow.
She blossomed in a powerful year of self-discovery, self-acceptance and freedom, which included an ADHD diagnosis. Tara wrote “Fucked-up-ness” to bring awareness to mental health and empowerment to those who struggle with neurodivergence and disabilities. “Being human is being fucked up. There is no normal. We are all weird and wacky, so own your own particular flavor and embrace your fucked-up-ness,” she declares.
We caught up with Tara Van, below. Dive in!
What can you share with readers about your new project?
My upcoming album was created in a huge transitional moment for me and for many people. A year and a half ago I had a very difficult but necessary breakup with the person I thought I wanted to spend my life with. The album is so much more than a break up album however. The pandemic has been very clarifying for a lot of people. It made you think about what was important in life and in doing so forced people to face themselves, many of us for the first time. I met myself properly last year and this album is a product of that discovery. Last year I realized I had Attention-Deficit-Hyperactivity-Disorder and also came out as pansexual both of which have been a long time coming. I really didn’t want this album to feel sad, though very clearly my heart was broken. This is an introduction. I am introducing myself to you and to myself honestly. I want this album to be hopeful, uplifting and empowering. If there is anything you can take away from it I hope it is that it’s never too late to chase your dreams or to discover new parts of yourself.
How does this release compare with your other projects you had in the past?
This project is huge for me because it is really the first time that I’m properly opening myself up and sharing myself with the world. My previous musical projects include a musical that I helped co-write music and lyrics for called ‘Panama: The Musical’, some rough demos with various other artists and an album that I was working on with my ex for three years that we never finished. I think it always felt easier to hide behind something or someone else because I was so insecure and honestly disconnected from who I was. This is the first project that is just completely openly and honestly me. I’ve never really talked about my music much, even when I was helping launch a musical and working on the album with my old partner I didn’t really talk to many people about it, I was so fearful and tentative. I know a lot of that has to do with the bullying I experienced in school and the many dysfunctional relationships that followed. It has taken me until now to finally heal those old wounds enough to step out into the light.
What about this single makes you most proud?
I think the honesty is what makes me most proud. I really didn’t hold back in this tune. It’s the most liberated I’ve ever felt. I’m not someone who has used profanity much in my life actually, partners of mine used to tease me about it in fact. I really never swore but I think a lot of that was because of a feeling deep down that I needed to be good and swearing was bad. I’ve felt like an outcast my whole life, though I am a huge extrovert and have always been very social. I hid many parts of myself and didn’t really allow people to get truly close to me. Part of this I realized last year was because of an inability to articulate what was going on inside of me properly and when I finally had a name for it, ADHD, I suddenly had a self acceptance and confidence that I had never had before. ‘Fucked-up-ness’ was born out of that feeling.
Was there a specific goal you were trying to accomplish with this release?
Absolutely! My goal with this tune is to drop as much of the stigmatism surrounding mental health as I can and bring awareness to neurodivergences. I hope this song empowers people to speak up about their own struggles with mental health and know that it is universal. We all have our own shit and we are all fucked up in our own way. There isn’t an adult walking around on this earth without their share of baggage. This idea of normalcy is completely a facade. There are so many different types of brains and bodies and we all need to celebrate whatever weird and wonderful creation we’re walking around in.
What inspires you to create music? What motivates you to keep going?
Creating music is like eating for me. I need to do it for my own survival and nourishment. It has been there forever. I can go on a fast but I always come back to it. It is my way of communicating my innermost thoughts, feelings and reflections on life. It allows me to process every experience, the good, the bad and everything in between. I started singing, songwriting and performing for my family when I was four years old and it has been one of the only constants in my life. So many things inspire me; romantic relationships, friendships, nature, politics, psychology, the human body, philosophy, culture, travel, death, addiction, the human condition. I think music for me is trying to make sense of it all and that is a never ending task so I have to keep going.
If you could collaborate with anyone – dead or alive, famous or unknown – who would it be and why? If it’s an indie/DIY artist, please include a link so readers can check them out.
Very tough question! There are about a million people I would love to collaborate with but the artist that came to mind immediately was Stevie Wonder. He writes such incredibly catchy tunes which is what I have always strived for, on top of that there is so much emotion in his music and he sings with so much passion. He also has one of the most original voices and it brings me so much joy to listen to him. I can only imagine the kind of joy it would bring me to sing with him.
What was the last song you listened to? Favorite all-time bands/artists?
The last song that I listened to was ‘Beleza Eterna’ by Tim Bernardes. I love the whole album ‘Mil Coisas Invisiveis’ so much. The whimsy of it just uplifts my soul and lifts me above myself and all at once so deeply painfully inside myself to the softest most vulnerable places.
If I were to list my favourite all-time bands/artists I would run out of space. There are far too many people whose music has transformed me in some way and taken me to new places and feelings. Music has been my best friend for my whole life. Creating, listening and dancing is when I am most myself. Music is always there and the comfort of that is immense. Though if I had to choose one artist that I wish I could have met and who has always been a huge inspiration to me it would be David Bowie.
Where is the best place to find you and stay connected?
The best place to find me and stay connected would be on instagram or linktree @taravanmusic !
I really appreciate your time. Is there anything you’d like to share before we sign off?
I really appreciate you taking the time to get to know me a bit better! I am super excited about my first album release ‘Rise’ on May 5th and I can’t wait to share it with you guys!
